Understanding Postpartum Depression

Hi, I'm Jeanette. I want to share my story, not because it’s easy, but because I know there are other mothers out there who need to hear it. After the birth of my daughter, I thought I would feel nothing but joy. I was told this was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. Instead, I felt consumed by overwhelming guilt and misery.

For nine long months, I struggled silently, convincing myself I was just tired, just overwhelmed. I denied what was really happening, I was drowning in postpartum depression. During those months, I felt detached, almost as if I were floating outside my own body. Tasks I used to manage effortlessly, like making a cup of coffee or changing a diaper, felt like climbing a mountain. I often cried alone, overcome with a crushing sense of isolation. The resentment I felt toward my partner grew, as the weight of every responsibility seemed to fall on my shoulders.

Sleep deprivation made everything worse, and I spiralled deeper into thoughts I never imagined I’d have. I told myself my daughter deserved a better mother, someone who could give her what I couldn’t. I even contemplated whether she would be better off without me. These feelings weren’t logical, but they were real. And they were terrifying.

Through therapy and the help of a psychiatrist, I started to understand what was happening to me. Postpartum depression isn’t a reflection of who we are as mothers; it’s a condition. It’s real, it’s common, and it’s something we should never feel ashamed of.

As I researched postpartum depression, one thing became clear, overachieving women like me often struggle more with the transition to motherhood. We’re used to control. We thrive in environments where we can measure success, be recognized, and keep emotions at arm’s length. At work, I knew how to manage challenges, solve problems, and get results.

Motherhood is the opposite. It’s unpredictable, emotional, and often chaotic. You can’t quantify success, and when things aren’t smooth sailing, you over analyse, beat yourself down, and convince yourself you’re failing. But here’s the truth, you’re not failing.

When I talk about overachieving, I don’t just mean being a C-level executive in a multimillion-dollar organization, although it can be that too. Overachieving is about excelling in your chosen field, whatever that may be. But then I would see mums who seemed to love every moment of motherhood. They embraced it effortlessly, finding joy in simply being present with their children. And instead of admiration, I felt shame. Shame because I didn’t feel the same.

For me, being “just a mum” felt like I had lost my identity. It made me feel worthless, like nothing I did mattered. And I hate to admit this, but I looked down on mums who didn’t work outside the home. I thought they were lazy, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Motherhood has been the hardest job I have ever done. Period. And I am disgusted at myself for the thoughts I used to have about mums who dedicate their lives to raising their children.

When I trace those thoughts back, I realize they stem from my childhood. I watched my mum, who was a full-time mother, end up with nothing when my dad left. I promised myself I would never be in that position, that I would work hard for my independence and never let anyone take it away. But that trauma skewed my perception of what is truly worthy and reshaped how I viewed motherhood itself. 

To all the mothers who dedicate themselves fully to raising their children, I owe you an apology. You are amazing. You are strong. And you are doing the most important work there is.

I share this story not to dwell on my mistakes but to connect with others who might feel the same. Whether you’re an overachiever struggling to adapt to motherhood or a mum feeling undervalued for the work you do every day, I want you to know you are not alone.

Motherhood is messy, raw, and relentless. It’s also filled with love, joy, and strength we didn’t know we had. And we are all doing our best. That’s what truly matters.

To the mums out there, you are enough. And you are incredible. 💜